Friday, November 05, 2010

The Royal Journal's Greatest Hits: "Life on Mars?"

Is there life on Mars? Back in January 23, 2008 NASA posted some photos that had me wondering if Big Foot was actually a martian? And I had this to say about it:

This still image, captured by NASA's Mars rover, "Spirit" in 2004, is stirring up a debate around the world these days. Check out the picture and decide for yourself what the controversy might be. A magnified version of the picture, appears to resemble a human form among a crop of rocks. Let's zoom in and see what all the fuss is about.Some say it looks like a rock, others say it looks to be a figure striding across the surface of the planet. This controversy has been all over the news this week and has reignited the debate about life on the Red Planet.

Personally, if you ask me, I don't think that it is an alien life form at all. In fact, I think it is just a rock structure that just happens to resemble a living figure. But, I do want to point out something funny that I noticed. Look at the position the so called "figure" is in. It looks awfully familiar, doesn't it? The picture above is a frame taken from the Patterson-Gimlin film. It was allegedly filmed on October 20, 1967 by Roger Patterson and Robert Gimlin who claimed the film was a genuine recording of a Bigfoot. Many have called the film a hoax, but it is a unique and interesting piece of film. See for yourself...

There is a reason I have laid out all this info. I want to bring it back to the original subject. I say, if the world really wants to believe this picture is of a distant being, I just want to point out that based on past experiences (see above), it would be more likely that NASA has actually spotted Bigfoot on Mars and not an alien life form. I mean come on, it's a single photograph, it could just be a smudge on the lens (think about it, the rover traveled millions of miles through space before arriving. Something could have easily smeared). It could also be a strange pile of rocks, Jimmy Hoffa or even a piece of beef jerky. In fact, if you think about it, after all that pestering those mischievous hikers did to Bigfoot in those classic commercials I wouldn't be surprised if this picture was just Sasquatch's way of getting his revenge.

or THIS:

The Royal Journal Greatest Hits: Success is it in the Coffee?

Coffee or tea, you ask? Here's a little ditty I wrote back on February 5, 2007 that should help you resolve that dilemma, I hope you enjoy:

Today was a beautiful winter day in Southern California. You know, 70 plus degrees, clear skies, the kind of weather that makes one want to tip back a tall piping hot cup of coffee. Actually, wait a tick, that's not exactly my cup of Joe (wow, that pun wasn't intended, but it works quite nicely), I would in fact, prefer a cool crisp ice-cold water over anything on a day like this. But here in SO CAL folks seem to disagree with me. They drink the hot stuff like its some sort of magic potion that has the power to grant anyone their innermost desires. Whether it's an aspiring actor trying to make it big time, or a recent college grad attempting to break into the industry as a director, producer or even writer. To them this hot beverage is their key to "making it" in this town. That's why I think people, specifically in the entertainment business seem to be piling into the nearest Starbucks. The proof is in the company's logo (right), you can plainly see there is some sort of mystical witch pictured right in the center. She has the long wavy black hair and even appears to be using some sort of meditation or telekinetic power, which must be her devious method in mystifying all the tasty drinks inside each store. And for the price you have to pay for one of these hot beverages, there better be more in that cup than just coffee.

I originally thought the name "Starbucks" was derived from the actual amount of money one would pay for a cup of their coffee. If you break down the name you can get the real meaning. It's just like Dan Brown's best-selling book The Da Vinci Code. Words are symbols and symbols are words. If you split "Starbucks" in half it becomes becomes "STAR" and "Bucks." Everyone knows most stars have 5 points, so if you take the word "STAR" and switch it with the number "5" you get "5 bucks coffee." Is it a coincidence or a just secret code thought up by the company's founders to reveal their true motives?

I am almost convinced that Starbucks is also a cover for an ancient religious secret society that has been attempting take over the world for centuries. I mean, if you really think about it, there is one of these coffee shops on every street corner in every major city around the world. Their world domination plans must not be far from completion. So please, keep going to Starbucks, you never know your wildest fantasies may just come true, even if it's world domination.